My life is not meant to merely survive, but to thrive... and to do so with passion, compassion, humor, and style. -Maya Angelou
 November girls are a different breed... born at a time when the trees are naked and barren. A somewhat sad season, really, where darkness arrives early from a sky that spits cold drizzle... yeah, makes it easy to see why these moody, mysterious girls are so difficult to get to know, yet simply impossible to forget, don't you think? -k.h.
 One morning she woke up different. Done with trying to figure out who was with her, against her, or walking down the middle because they didn’t have the guts to pick a side. She was done with anything that didn’t bring her peace. She realized that opinions were a dime a dozen, validation was for parking, and loyalty wasn’t a word, but a lifestyle. It was this day that her life changed. And not because of a man or a job but because she realized that life is way too short to leave the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket. -unknown
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it. I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think. I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something to take its place. I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice. I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it. I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score. I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up. I've learned that I'm getting more and more like my grandma, and I'm kinda happy about it. I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I've learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological. I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to. I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions. I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer. I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever. I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them. I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process. I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love. I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life. I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control. I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most. I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you. I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains. I've learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us. I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used. I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe. -author unknown 
When I'm gone, 'I'd like to think that at some point, someone somewhere will stumble upon my words, and as they read of my thoughts, my stories... they'd say, "I woulda' loved that sassy little rebel!" After all, when everything is said and done, that's all any of us want, really, don't you think... to be loved, to be desired, to be remembered... to have mattered to someone? -k.h.
 Old Farmer's Advice:
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whispered... not yelled. Meanness don't just happen overnight. Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads. Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. You cannot unsay a cruel word. Every path has a few puddles. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. The best sermons are lived, not preached. Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway. Don't judge folks by their relatives. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time. Don't interfere with something' that ain't bothering you none. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'. Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got. The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every morning'. Always drink upstream from the herd. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in. If you get to thinking' you're a person of some influence, try ordering' somebody else's dog around. Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and enjoy the ride. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just shoot you!  When Cupid’s arrow strikes, the feelings and obsessions associated with this crazy little thing thing called love, can be explained by the tip of Cupid's arrow being dipped in dopamine & adrenaline... Yep, Cupid is a chemist. Who knew, right!?!
 She's a quiet one, that girl. But she possesses confidence... with a self-assurance that's set on scream volume. She's meek, yet strong. Stable, yet rebellious. Devoted, yet discerning. And if she tells you she has your back, then believe me... she has your back. She stands up for what is right, for all that is good in this all too often cruel world. -k.h.
  Think of those bad feelings you sometimes get as an emergency door... if possible, just calmly exit. Who knows... it could save your life.  True intimacy demands uncomfortable honesty... that, "I''ll show you mine if you show me yours," kinda openness... the raw, the vulnerable kind, you know. Yeah, we think we're honest, but we lie by omission. We keep so much hidden from the one we love. We hide our most intimate desires like they're a deep dark secret, that if exposed, would bring on a catastrophic event... those desires we think they can’t, or won't fulfill, much less understand... and we hide every little thing that we think will make them run away. Yeah, we hide who we truly are... simply because we're afraid. Afraid that if we open up and expose our true self, we'll be left... Abandoned. Funny, that.. because, we wind up blaming the object of our desire for not meeting our needs... the needs that we refuse to share with them... yeah, those needs. Well, the truth of the matter is, people aren't mind readers, clairvoyant, psychic, or whatever you wanna call it. No, they don't lose us... they don't even know who we are. We're the one who lost... lost them by hiding the truth of who we are... So, that thing we most feared, you know, that abandonment thing... well, now it's become a reality. How truly sad, this thing we do to ourselves, over and over again.... and let's just blame it on human nature, shall we? Because, that's so much easier than ponying up the truth to our special someone, let alone actually taking a good, hard look at ourselves, isn't it? -k.h.  And, it's not to say that I'm not whole... I am complete. No, what I'm feeling is a burning desire to share all of me, to share every cell of my being... with him, the one who sends shivers down my spine with the mere thought of him lying beside me. I ache for him... -k.h.
 He intrigues me. His calm manner, his matter-of-fact attitude... those well articulated, spellbinding, come hither lines... they flow effortlessly from the smooth whispers of his mouth. How soothing, that voice... that man gives me pause. Yes, he certainly intrigues me... -k .h. Ecclesiastes 3: 1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.  A bit of life advice from Holly Butcher: It’s a strange thing to realize and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts. That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right. I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands. I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared – I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit. I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most! Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days. Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that – breathe. You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite and your belly is wobbling. Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more. I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise – Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them. I tried to live a healthy life, in fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it. Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realize just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being. Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is shit but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away. Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more. Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people. It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives. Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewelry for that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them. Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister. This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on. Use your money on experiences. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit. Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water. Get amongst nature. Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else. Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females . Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colors the sun makes as it rises. Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best. Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that. Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay? Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not. Work to live, don’t live to work. Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy. Eat the cake. Zero guilt. Say no to things you really don’t want to do. Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay. Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have. Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it – in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true. Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind! Oh and one last thing, if you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives! That is a massive impact each person can have and the process really is so simple. Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year – a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life. ..’Til we meet again. Hol Xoxo *posted on facebook 24 hours before she passed away* And when all is said and done, we will be remembered by how we loved...  I'm a pluviophile: a lover of rain. Yes, I'm a strange one, and I'm unapologetic. Different strokes for different folks, ya' know... Me, I find peace of mind in the sound of rain & I think I'm happiest on rainy days. “Water is sacred to all Human Beings. If you do not have water, you cannot have life. -Autumn Morning Star  “They both listened silently to the water, which to them was not just water, but the voice of life, the voice of Being, the voice of perpetual Becoming.” -Herman Hesse  Sometimes, something as simple as a quiet country walk, or the feeling of a gentle breeze kissing my cheek... is all that's needed to revive my soul. It's the little things... the ordinary things all bundled together... that make this so-so life... Extraordinary. -k.h.  I caption this, "Oops!" - an accidental image capture while I was picking up the camera after dropping it. This little incident seems to tie in perfectly with the story of my life with MS... just one never-ending Oops! And I'm okay with that, because an imperfect life sure beats the heck out of the alternative. We all lead an imperfect life, one with struggles along the way. Every. Single. One. Of. Us. That's not to say it can't be a happy life, though. The key to my happiness is how I choose to deal with my struggles. So, my advise to you is to lighten up, lose the negativity and drama, and learn to laugh at yourself. Try it! The only thing you risk losing by trying it is a bad attitude, and that frown on your face... :)  Sometimes you just have to be done. Not mad, not upset... Just. Done.  |
